Stephens: Who Will Keep Coaching Our Kids?

By Mitch Stephens

MaxPreps.com

HIGH SCHOOL COACHES are a saintly bunch. 

Long hours. Little pay. Smaller fanfare.

It’s nothing like the college and professional ranks with six- and seven-figure salaries, shoe deals, tailor-made suits and gobs of hair jell.

In fact, I’ve seen a lot of bad haircuts and fashion statements among high school coaches but that’s for good reason. Coaching amateur and green-chip athletes is not about style, but of substance, of true-grit, life-changing lessons and mentoring.

And with the decay of general family structure and economic stability, the roles and demands of these saintly sorts has increased measurably.

With moms and dads playing lesser roles, the burden of coaches to fill parental gaps overshadows their role to simply coach.

Thomas Pecore, a highly successful boys soccer coach at Putnam North, Norman, Okla., said at least 50 percent of his players come from single-family homes. Most of those players are raised by women.

"It's tough," he said. "Most of them haven't had positive male mentors. Our motto is save the boy, then save the man."

That's a bigger burden than say, teaching the triangle offense or a relay from the outfield. Pecore, who will be one of five high school coaches honored by the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) Saturday night at Stanford University in Palo Alto (Calif.), probably takes more time teaching basic human etiquette than basic ball skills. 

He has a few simple rules.

No sagging, baggy pants.

No bling.

No profanity.

Be courteous to females.

Show up to school.

Do your school work.

Be a good citizen.

Don't do anything you couldn't tell your mother.  

"We want our program to be a pathway for them to be young men," said Pecore, who has sent 63 players to college on soccer scholarships in 13 years. "Over the years we've had successes in that area. But yes, every year it becomes more and more of a chore."

That's because demands have grown for high school coaches.

With college scholarships so coveted because of financial hardships, they must add a college recruiting cap to their already filled noggins.

You can’t attract colleges, of course, without a winning program, so on top of the mentoring and recruiting and parenting and dealing with the press, high school coaches must also squeeze out time to outsmart and scout opponents.

"That's the fun part," Pecore said.

But wait. There's more tedious duties.

With cuts in school jobs, coaches must also fill voids of largely stretched athletic directors, meaning schedules, transportation and grade-checking are added to the plate of the high school coach.

Ever see a waiter balancing five meals on one tray, drinks on another, napkins under his armpit and a tray stand looped around a forearm?

He has nothing on a high school coach.

It’s no wonder we’re seeing more and more promising coaches, young people in the prime of their mentoring lives, dropping out to focus on their own families.

Last week, 33-year-old Brian Eagleson, a terrific boys basketball coach at Archbishop Mitty (San Jose, Calif.) resigned to spend more time with an infant daughter and son on the way.

Eagleson had led the Monarchs to back-to-back Northern California championships and national rankings. He is considered a level-headed, compassionate, intelligent man who taught his kids both on and off the court.

“I want to be there for my wife to help raise the kids,” Eagleson told the San Jose Mercury News. “So I thought it was time to re-evaluate my priorities. It was hard telling the players. We have put so many hours in this together.”

Truth be told, Eagleson loves coaching. Loves the kids. Loves the game. 

But the mental, financial and emotional strains and burdens are too difficult to balance in another life.

Pecore, whose three children are out of high school, empathizes.

"I don't have the demands at home most of these young guys do," he said. "I have more time to funnel toward the program. It's very tough nowadays for young coaches."

Not just the young ones.

A week after Eagleson's departure, in the same coveted and highly-competitive West Catholic Athletic League, another boys basketball coach resigned.

On Thursday, St. Francis (Mountain View) coach Steve Fillios, 55, stepped aside after 16 seasons, 309 wins, a state title and six Central Coast championships.

A charismatic, energetic and another well-balanced sort, Fillios, said he simply couldn’t find enough juice to do the job right. At least by his high standards.

“These kids deserve a lot of energy and even though I still have the passion, I just couldn’t look in the mirror and be honest with myself that I could provide that and still teach full time,” he told the Mercury News.

It’s almost fitting timing and location then, that just a 3-pointer down the road from Fillios and Eagleson, the PCA holds its annual National Youth Sports Awards. Click here for details.

This tremendous non-profit organization, founded within the Stanford Athletic Department in 1998, will honor seven coaches nationally, five from the high school ranks.

Besides Pecore, other high school coaches picked were Brad Bowers (San Leandro, Calif., football), Steve Clegg (Lake Forest, Ill., track and cross country), Cheryl Mitchell (Kinkaid, Houston, Texas, track and cross country) and Theresa Smith (Harker School, San Jose, Calif., volleyball).

The other winners were Paul Frank, a youth soccer, lacrosse and football coach from Rancho Murieta, Calif., and Pete Rosell, a Little League coach from Brea, Calif.

The foundation boasts high sports rollers like Lakers coach Phil Jackson, the PCA’s National Spokesman. Its Advisory Board includes legendary coaches Larry Brown and Dean Smith, former senator and NBA star Bill Bradley, NFL Hall of Famer Ronnie Lott, Olympic swimming gold medalist Summer Sanders and Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards.

Though the names catch your attention, what I like is that this high-reaching, high-profile organization reaches down to its roots. Its mission statement is “transforming youth sports so sports can transform youth.” 

The PCA has conducted roughly 5,000 live group workshops nationwide for more than 200,000 youth sports leaders, coaches, parents and athletes.

The five honored Saturday are simply examples of saintly duties carried out well.

Keeping such coaches like these, like Eagleson and Fillios, charged and not physically and emotionally depleted should be everyone's goal.

I sometimes wonder who, with all the added strains and demands, is going to want to coach our kids.

Luckily we still have examples. 

“Winning these awards is a great tribute to these coaches work with youth athletes, considering there are 4 million youth sports coaches nationwide,” said Jim Thompson, PCA’s founder and executive director and author of The Double-Goal Coach. “More importantly, their work with youth athletes makes them winners.”

Pecore said the most fundamental message in coaching high school kids is commitment. As long as he can maintain his side of the bargain, he'll stay in the game.

"We commit 100 percent and demand they do the same," he said. "We want them to be accountable so we need to be accountable."

Here are short bios on five committed coaches who will be honored tonight.

Brad Bowers (San Leandro football)

The Hayward Area Athletic League Coach of the Year in 2005 and 2007 and two-time Sports Focus Coach of the Week, achieved his greatest impact by helping his players cope with the murder of teammate Greg Ballard in Oct.

A nominating letter signed by three players read in part: “We could not write this individually as our coach has instilled the word team in us since day one….Coach Boom gives the game of football meaning. He shows us how football has life lessons such as facing adversity. Our team faced adversity this season when our teammate was tragically killed. Coach gave Greg a chance when others wouldn’t….We pulled together as a team and a family and cried together. Our coach taught us that it is ok for young men to cry.”

Said Bowers: “It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to go through. Greg made something positive happen in his life, and football helped him make that positive decision. It was very brave for him to do that when he was surrounded by violence and negativity.”

Steve Clegg (Lake Forest cross country/track)

Clegg showed his true colors during a 2003 tragedy.

Wrote one of Clegg’s athletes in her nominating letter: “Clegg has especially been my mentor when he has helped me deal with the sudden death of my cousin, who died in the Chicago porch collapse in 2003. Clegg had her as an athlete for a few track seasons, and every year when my family hosts a memorial run for her charity, Clegg helps organize the entire event.”

Wrote another: “He has an incredible gift to motivate so many girls to pushing beyond their pain thresholds for personal and team success. That’s one of the things I have learned through all of this, not to be afraid of hard work.”

Clegg’s coaching techniques include:

* “Talk Up Your Teammates Tuesday,” a  designated time for athletes to vocalize their support for each other

* “Midnight Run.” The first workout each season, occurring at midnight on the first day practice is allowed, is a team-building exercise, where team veterans guide first-year athletes through the darkened racecourse

* Training runs to pancake houses and bowling alleys for further team-building.

“The most rewarding thing is I see kids develop athletically and emotionally from skinny, little freshmen into leaders,” Clegg said. “As these kids mature, they see the benefit of hard work. Cross country is hard work. We don’t have pep rallies, so we have to find ways to be internally proud of our efforts. They come away with an idea of what it takes to succeed, and they understand that success comes slowly, so they keep at it.”

Cheryl Mitchell (Kinkaid cross country/track)

Mitchell said coaching is a two-way educational street.

Her greatest lesson may have been after letting a less-skilled athlete join the squad because she knew that athlete was very sick. “She passed away shortly after the season and it hit me that as coaches we have to put our egos aside and do the best we can for every kid.”

Former Kinkaid School runner Katie Anding said Mitchell’s influence was invaluable.

“What made her really special was not the hours she was willing to put in but rather her personal philosophy,” Anding said. “I had the idea that if I didn’t win, all was lost. Coach Mitchell was not like that at all. Every time I finished disappointed, she would always say, ‘Did you leave it all out on the track?’ And every time, my answer was, ‘Yes.’”

That’s all Mitchell can ask, she said.

“My goal is for every athlete to feel good and to have learned something, to have integrity and honest conversation while keeping their spirit intact,” she said. “I’m a big-picture coach. I want kids to leave Kinkaid as happy, healthy people.”

Tom Pecore (Putnam North soccer)

Pecore also showed his backbone during a devastating nightmare in 2003.

One of his players Brian took his own life.

“It was the most devastating thing that a band of brothers could have ever gone through and the worst part about it for my dad was that he was in the emergency room next to Brian’s parents when Brian died,” said Andrew Pecore, Brian’s teammate and Tom’s son. “He was the rock that we all rallied around and he never left us or let us down and he did this all the while he was grieving his own father’s death. He kept us together, focused and working harder than ever before.”

Pecore, the 2006 NSCAA Coach of the Year, has led squads to consecutive state championship appearances. Brian’s death was his greatest challenge as a coach, father and mentor.

“After Brian died this group of boys went through so much pain,” Tom said. “I would sit in the parking lot and cry. One day I had a letter of resignation written, and my wife told me she would support that decision, but she wanted to ask me one question: ‘What would your father have done?’ I knew then that my father was speaking through my wife, telling me to be strong because those boys needed me.”

Theresa Smith (Harker volleyball)

Smith is a coaching lifer, a vibrant, personable sort who led her team to a 2007 Northern California Division IV title. “This is what I wanted to do when I was growing up,” she said.

Among several long, heart-felt and impeccably written nominating letters from her players, one read, in part, “I just finished playing in my last high school volleyball match ever, and I am already tearing up just writing this…I will continue to play in college next year….(But) I am so sad that volleyball season is over because that means that I can no longer have those two guaranteed hours of practice time with one of my best friends and mentor, Coach Smitty.”

Smith understands her effect on players.

“You really see how much you mean to people,” she said. “Parents may be there, or not be there. They may be supportive, or not. A coach can be another adult in players’ lives to help give them character education. What an awesome responsibility that is.”

E-mail Mitch Stephens at mstephens@maxpreps.com.

PRESENTED BY: Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA)

WHEN: Saturday, April 12, 5-9 p.m.

WHERE: Stanford University, Maples Pavilion

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: UC Davis football coach Jim Sochor

FEATURED GUESTS: NFL Hall of Fame QB Steve Young, Oregon football coach Mike Bellotti, Former Women's Basketball Olympian and PCA National Advisory Board member Jennifer Azzi.

HIGH SCHOOL COACHES HONORED: Brad Bowers (San Leandro, Calif., football), Steve Clegg (Lake Forest, Ill., track and cross country), Cheryl Mitchell (Kincaid, Houston, Texas, track and cross country), Thomas Pecore (Putnam North, Norman, OK, soccer) and Theresa Smith (Harker School, San Jose, Calif., volleyball).

MORE INFORMATION ON EVENT: http://www.positivecoach.org/awards.aspx

MORE INFORMATION ON PCA: http://www.positivecoach.org/